GWAR, Crobot & Nekrogoblikon
Volume #33: GWAR, Crobot & Nekrogoblikon
9/15/2022
House of Blues 308 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, OH 44114
Good evening and welcome to another edition of the Rustbelt Rock Review. This week I had the pleasure of catching a mid week show at House of Blues. Normally it takes a special occasion to lure me out on a Thursday, and this was no exception. On the docket was one of the best live shows in the land, the legendary GWAR. In support they had Crobot, who I particularly enjoy, as well as Nekrogoblikon who was new to me. With me this evening was my cohort Chen Killingsworth as well as his son, The Joe. We arrived shortly after doors opened, and immediately hit the bar before heading to the floor.
Before too long the lights lowered and we were treated to a safety announcement from the club. It explained where the emergency exits were, as well as expressly forbidding moshing and crowd surfing under threat of expulsion. It was odd and felt vaguely like an airport pre flight briefing. I also think it sucked a little vigor out of the crowd. The prospect of being ejected from the event felt very real after the spiel, and I think a lot of people took it seriously… at least initially.
Nekrogoblikon
Once the speech was over the lights dropped fully and Nekrogoblikon took the stage. The five man group came out followed by… you guessed it, a goblin. To be more specific, it was a hunchbacked goblin wearing a white button up, khaki’s and gold sunglasses shaped like a pair of raised middle fingers. Opening with “Golden Future” they broke into their own strange and very unique brand of Heavy Metal. It is an odd blend of Death Metal, Power Metal, Techno and children’s music all stitched together with Gobliney fantasy themes. The floor was packed with hungry fans, all headbanging with vigor. They roared in approval when the band announced the next song “Darkness.” This was followed by “Bones” and then “No One Survives,” which kept the energy ever rising on the floor.
Nekrogoblikon
Next up was a song called “The Magic Spider” which I can only describe as equal parts: kids show theme song and bad acid trip. They fired into “This is it” then closed out the set with a clear fan favorite “Powercore.” I was impressed by the bands unapologetic goblin-esc approach to Metal. It is refreshing to see acts that refuse to conform to the “casual music fans” and their idea of what Rock N’ Roll should be. I found lead vocalist Nicky Calonne’s stage banter and wild facial expressions particularly entertaining. Normally I would refer to him as the “frontman” of the group, but in Nekrogoblikon that description does not quite fit. As I mentioned before, there was a goblin involved. A goblin that spent the entirety of the set on stage, rocking out, lip syncing to the songs, and in general filling the roll of frontman himself. I was left wondering, if we were meant to pretend Calonne wasn’t there and the goblin was in fact the singer. This is a question that will no doubt haunt me until my dying day. No matter how that works out, I have to say Nekrogoblikonwas a lot of fun; strange, heavy and most definitely entertaining. Without a doubt, they were the perfect choice to be GWAR’s opening act.
Crobot
Second on the bill for the evening was Crobot. For those of you who remember I caught them back in May in support of Danzig(RbRR #11). If you read that article you know that they thoroughly impressed me that night, so I was understandably stoked to catch them a second time this year. The lights went out and we were treated to a Sci-Fi skit where front man Brandon Yeagley is hatched from a giant egg. Erupting from the shell the band broke into their song “Dizzy” without delay. Crobot immediately took command, with Yeagley strutting around the stage, swinging his mic stand with vigor. I noticed the vocals were far too low initially, but HoB’s sound engineer dialed it in quickly, at which point I declared that Crobot was sounding great. “Better Times” came next which showed Yeagley breaking out his harmonica, adding an extra layer of soul to the sound. “Gasoline” and “Livin’ on the Streets” both had guitarist Chris Bishop throwing his guitar mid song, and spinning it around his body. I noticed his strap was connected to his ax by big ass eye loops instead of normal strap locks. It seems he doesn’t trust standard rigging for his stage theatrics. Mid way through the set they did another skit involving pulling the sword from the stone, which turned into an intro for the song “Mountain.”
Crobot
They closed out with an extended version of “Low Life,” during which we got to see their trademark stage move: Yeagley jumping straight up and landing on Bishop’s shoulders. Both times I’ve seen this performed I wonder how often it has gone wrong. Yet they pulled it off flawlessly and it was once again impressive as hell. Crobot finished the back end of “Low Life” and left the stage to strong applause. I was really happy with the set, however I do have one criticism: While I enjoy the skit’s, and do find them entertaining, if they were to cut them from the set they would undoubtedly have time for another song or two. I am all for that sort of stage theatrics, don’t get me wrong, but when you are an opening act working with a short time slot, I say cut the fluff and play more music.
GWAR
Finally our headliner was taking the stage. The mighty GWAR was bringing their… hilariously ridiculous Heavy Metal extravaganza out to play. If you have never seen GWAR live, I will tell you two things 1) Go see GWAR, and 2) I cannot possibly describe it to you. At least not in any terms that will make you fully understand what a truly awesome display of the asinine it is. GWAR’s stage performances are equal parts Rock show and Godzilla movie. The larger than life monsters that make up the band play out a nonsensical intergalactic drama on stage for the delighted fans. For those of you who have seen GWAR, you will be interested to know it seems like they have dumped some money into upgrading that famous stage presence. New lights and smoke jets at the front of the stage were a nice effect. They also had four large video screens which were incorporated into the show. They displayed various images to coincide with the songs playing, and in between had a cartoon platypus that argued with the band and advanced the “plot” of the show. They also had a new giant sized creature which they wheeled out towards the end of the set. If I had to guess, I would say it was at least 10ft tall if not more.
GWAR
Besides the new effects, they had all the old standbys that we enjoy. Monsters fighting monsters, the slaughtering of celebrities, an on stage abortion performed with a giant toilet plunger, and of course, the savage murder of the President. GWAR took a firm stance against the war in Ukraine, on the grounds that making war against humans was their job (And who the hell was Putin to take their jobs?!). They then brought out Putin, with giant gorilla arms and weird dark nipples, and ripped him to pieces. It is also probably important to mention that when Donald Trump arrived GWAR found the “classified documents” and pulled them out of his ass… which of course began to spray the crowd with a strong stream of blood. Oh, yeah, did I not mention the blood? Yes, there was blood, by the gallon. Jets of GWAR juice soaked the crowd, gushing not just from Trumps rump, but also from severed arms, decapitated torso’s and huge rubber cocks. Throughout all of this mayhem GWAR performed 17 songs closing out with two of my favorites “Sick of You” and “Fuck This Place.” What more can I say? GWAR is GWAR and they are legend. They have been doing this show for decades now and it just keeps getting bigger and bloodier. I gotta tell you, even if you have never heard one note of GWAR’s music, go see them play. It is a show unlike any other and well worth the price of admission. A word of advice: I wouldn’t recommend you wear anything that stains easily. It WILL come out a completely different color.
Until next time… Rock on, Rustbelt!
-Z.M. Delgado
Rustbelt Rock Review
Zackolantern.com
9/16, 9/18/2022
GWAR
Gwar.net
Crobot
Crobotband.com
Nekrogoblikon
Districtlines.com
